I gave in.
So, it’s been a little less than a year since evoque went on its not-so-brief hiatus. It’s no longer limited to the amused what-ifs and halfhearted attempts to put together something new. You see, it grew too hard to write, and after weighing out the options I thought that it would be best to stop, even for just a little bit.
While I was away, things did get much, much better. I have friends, both new and old, who encouraged me to start writing again. I’m nothing but grateful to them for the chance to grow and to express my love for those around me.
But truthfully, I had been feeling downtrodden. I noticed everything about me being tired. I wasn’t able to concentrate, and I had this terrible, overwhelming feeling of being dishonest every time my mood lightened.
I sat on my bedroom floor one day talking to my friend Robert and he said that people weren’t feeling very good right now. As a sportswriter in Texas, he noted that people seemed to force their excitement at the games, almost as if they were trying their hardest to forget that there was a war and a gaping hole in the New York skyline.
I agreed on too many levels. I felt tremendously affected, and not just by the war. Whatever was going on, I couldn’t seem to shake the disillusionment and the need to wear pajamas all day long.
I wasn’t motivated to do anything, and I didn’t laugh as much as I used to.
I felt like hiding and not talking. I didn’t feel like putting everything back in its right place.
I am naturally one of those people who loves rainy days. Not because they’re a convenient excuse, but because I like the sound of it against my windows while I sleep and the way it smells right after the clouds thin. It’s a productive feeling