"urge to kill ... rising ... "
climbing Jacob's ladder
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I woke up at 6 AM to find my mother rearranging my kitchen. This is supposedly because it will be more efficient, but I think what she forgot to add was that it would be more efficient for her.
I had to have Tums with my hot chocolate this morning, as my parents have only been here for less than a day and already they’re driving me up a wall. Doubtless I’ll have to dye my hair by the time the weekend’s over; it will be streaked with white.
So the MacGillicuddy will graduate with his bachelor’s in marketing tonight, and we are all damned proud of him. I hope he gets a kick out of his present, which is a Tonka trailer truck with a hefty check taped to the bottom. His card reads:
Dear G.R.,Good thing you didn’t grow up to be what you wanted to be in first grade, huh? Congratulations on making it through the university gauntlet!
Mahal kita talaga,
E.
(FYI, “mahal kita talaga” means “I love you truly” in our native tongue, Tagalog.)
I’m fairly famous for my gift-giving and my oft-amusing methods of presenting presents. One Christmas, we purchased a lovely wristwatch for Mom. We finagled an empty refrigerator box from Sears, weighted the bottom with bricks, wadded up what had to be at least a year’s worth of newspapers, and tossed the jeweler’s case in. I don’t think she’s ever forgiven us for the mess that present caused.
This year, my favorite present is probably the one I’m sending to J.M. He’s getting a big parcel in the post which will contain a gift card, innumerable pink styrofoam peanuts, and three boxes nested inside each other. The theme? “Gifts to keep J.M. warm when I’m not around.” The first box has a lovely fawn-colored sweater. The second has a stainless-steel flask engraved with his initials. The third? A bottle of Grey Goose vodka.